


Enough

by SummoningStuff



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen, POV Second Person, Self-Esteem Issues, ambiguous Amaurotine, mentioned Azem (Final Fantasy XIV), no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26392492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummoningStuff/pseuds/SummoningStuff
Summary: You dearly loved your friends, but you couldn't help but wonder whether you were enough.(Possible thoughts of an Amaurotine that is a friend of Hythlodaeus and Hades, but not the Fourteenth.)
Kudos: 1





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Something experimental to get me back into writing and to test out some things. Mainly just written to get this out of my system where it lingered.

You dearly loved your friends.

It was hard to say for how long you had known them, but it had been a long time for sure. You had been around to see how both of them grew, claimed positions that were no small feat. One the Chief of the Bureau of the Architect, the other the newly appointed Emet-Selch of the Convocation of Fourteen. It seemed a little far fetched, to be friends with such famous people even if you were nothing special. Maybe it was because you had known them even before they had become that. Otherwise, it would be hard to explain how the three of you regularly sat together, enjoying each other’s company while talking for hours.

“Do you really need to go on about that?” Hades - no, you had to scold yourself. Emet-Selch, you had to get used to the title, it was only proper to use it from now on - seemed in an even grumpier mood than usual, seemingly ired by your other friend. Yet again, whatever the reason, there was no way he could be truly mad at Hythlodaeus. You knew that very well, both of them were more close than anyone else. “Ah, there is no reason to be like that! I just wanted to inform our friend about how Azem would stop a volcano for the sake of their favourite grapes! It does make for a good story, even you have to admit that.”

Your smile fell, and for the rest of the evening, it didn’t brighten up to the same intensity it had before, not even over the course of time until you said your goodbyes. No, your dampened mood remained even as you returned to your apartment and were left to your own devices. A simple name triggered something, yet you harbored no ill will against its bearer.

No, it simply gave way to nagging thoughts, doubts that had plagued you for quite some time now. Because while your friends had grown and made a reputation for themselves, you had just been you, remaining the same unremarkable person you had ever been. Even when you were younger, their ability to see the fine traces and colours of the souls around you had filled you with a silent doubt of not fitting in.

Over time, that had only worsened. Of course you knew about the fourteenth member of the Convocation, and they were truly remarkable, not only from the stories your friends told you. You looked up to the one known as Azem as well, but that had fueled your thoughts. Someone like them was more fit to be a friend to such remarkable people, and they did deserve remarkable friends. Not someone as average as you.

There it was again, the thought within your doubts that seemed to scream the loudest: Were you enough to be their friend? Amazing people like that shouldn’t be dragged down by someone like you, right? They deserved people around them who shone just as brightly.

Was it enough? Were you enough? Could you ever be enough? There was no way that you were enough, right?

Mind you, it wasn't that you were discontent with your life. Far from it, actually. All was well, and you found joy in what you did. There was no reason to worry.

Still, this one doubt persisted, clinging to you like a parasite that was hard to notice and remove. It followed you, sometimes entirely silent, sometimes begging for all your attention and focus with a force that couldn't be ignored. You allowed it, because denying it was there would only make it worse in the long run.

Another day's work done, you prepared to leave after making sure everything had been taken care of. You fetched your belongings and crossed abandoned hallways until you emerged from the building just in time to see the faint traces of dusk. A nice setting for the short walk back to your apartment. So, just like usual, you turned left to head out.

"Can you believe our friend is ignoring us like this? I think I have never witnessed something so cruel!" The voice seemed so out of place in the serene silence, startling you not only because of that but also because of its familiarity. A familiarity the grumbled response held as well, enough to spark your curiosity to turn around and take a look at what was happening. The sight was enough to make your heart flutter.

Standing there, both of your friends seemed to be waiting for something. "So, I wonder what the excuse will be?" Hythlodaeus raised a somewhat accusing finger in your direction. "Surely, you have not forgotten about our friendly routine?" Beside him, the Hades sighed. "Some people do like their peace and distance once in a while, even if that concept permanently seems to escape some people." Under your mask, your eyes flickered to the side in both embarrassment and slight guilt. "I… simply hadn't intended to take away some of your time with Azem. Your friend is rarely around as it is, while I am not as hard to get some time with."

Both of your friends seemed stunned, turning to face one another for a second. Then, their reactions were quite different. While the chief of the Bureau of the Architect fell into a bright and cheerful laughter, the architect himself simply scowled. "You need not worry about that, my friend! And the solution to any potential conflicts might just be to simply invite Azem to further outings should they be around. They said they were curious to meet you, after all." You fidgeted. Was that really true? "With how much you tend to talk about them, it is little wonder that one would be curious about the person. However, I am already exhausted at the prospect of Azem being a bad influence on our friend. You yourself are enough of a nuisance already to provide for all three of us." Hythlodaeus gasped in a fine display of faked shock. "You know very well that they would not do such a thing! And to claim I was a nuisance! Even our friend here does not believe such nonsense, am I right?" Shaking your head in amused disbelief, you allowed Hythlodaeus to link his arm with yours and drag you along to wherever. 

Maybe it was alright this way. Sure, those thoughts wouldn't leave you instantly, but it was okay, because they didn't matter. Those thoughts were there, and you would acknowledge them just to be reminded that thoughts could be wrong.

A bright, beaming smile spread across your lips as if trying to reach up to your mask. You were their friend, and that was all you needed.

You were their friend, and you were enough.


End file.
